Is autism spectrum a form of a sufferer being different or disabled? The debate on this is still continuing. A majority of the people we talked to spoke about feeling different. To some of them, it gave a positive feeling, while others say they felt isolated and desired to fit in.
" We are always wanting to fit in, I think, because I constantly feel that, anyway, I am on the outside. And that, in fact, is hard work. You are aware that you are different. You realise that you have different ways of doing things, and often do some odd things. This is what you are always aware of, but the fact is that everybody is different. Being different is a right that everyone has, but what is difficult for most people to understand is what it means to be the playground Martian, as they say, or to be the odd one out."
"I think, as a result, the default setting becomes loneliness."
When we talked to the people who felt different, what they said is that most of them experience loneliness, as they find it difficult to socialise and make friends. For example, Paul said he never felt involved in social situations, and was never at ease when he was involved in social activities.
The hardest thing that she had to deal with was, one woman said; "Trying to get along with all people, by sort of acting normal and people accepting you as normal, but feeling you are strange and they are not aware of what is not right with you, unlike physical disabilities, if i was in a ASDA wheelchair for example." Harriet said " Ever since I have had memories, I have been aware that I was different from other people", while the comment from Mark was " I never felt that I belonged and this was highlighted especially in my family, because I was so different from my parents, whie may sister was very similar to them. This was always highlighted and made me feel basically that I was a freak."
Autism feels and manifests in me in a particular way that may be different from the way it does in others. As a result, I am afraid of saying how I feel because I do no want to become a standard for autistic behaviour.
Cruelty of people has taught me to be cautious, and there have been days when I feel I should catapult away from the public view of my being a spokesman for autism.
Many a time, I have been prepared to run away, but then I get an email from a mother who is desperate to find a small hook she can hang on to as she fights the battle for her tormented child. She asks for help for understanding just a little bit of what her child is feeling, and this makes me realise that I cannot silence this story, because of the mean comments made to me, or because of my own fears.
Autism is a disorder that affects neurodevelopment, and its characteristic is that it has its sufferers going through various degrees of struggle with interacting socially, communication , both verbal and non-verbal, sensory processing, and behaviour that is repetitive or restricted. I will break some of these down for you, at least the things that I experience . But what you need to recognise is that a person with ASD who has "psychological" manifestations, has all of them because of ASD's underlying neurological system.
